Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Marriage Moment

I hate conflict, always have. As a child I felt helpless in moments of conflict and would run away. In my marriage, running away is no longer an option nor, I might add, any longer a desire, thanks be to God quite literally. We have to barrel it through but barreling hurts.

At any rate, here we were having dinner and a movie (a bad time to bring anything up but sometimes it's now or never - at least it feels that way) one of our differences was weighing on me. In fact I felt he was wrong.

So I brought it up rather uncouth-like. He was terribly gracious. What started as an inquisition on my part quickly turned into real dialogue. We have both learned to ask questions rather than assume we understand the other's whys and wherefores.

We must have spent over two hours peeling back layer after layer of supposition (many wrong), motivations (despite what I think I am no mind reader) and observations (that can be painful). It was hard going. After a while however we both realized this is GOOD. We felt better and seemed to have arrived at a place that was new for both of us.

The issue isn't resolved but right now I don't care. I feel like we found the goose that lays the golden eggs.

Marriage is not just co-habitation, not even just a loving commitment to stay together, no, it's much more than that. It truly is a relationship where two become one. It really is. I have believed that because the Bible says it but I had never seen it before.

Our conversation started like rough sand paper. It hurt. We kept on. The more we talked, the more we got sand-papered. We began to let go of our own reasonings and enquired of each;  the perspective of the one began to affect the other.

The emotional, mental and spiritual dimensions of our existence affect much more than our feelings, minds and hearts; they affect our bodies as well. We both felt physically better, lighter than we had in years about this. We both received the other and in so doing literally became a third entity on this issue. I will never be the same. The two shall become one. Indeed.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Spool Rack

Independence. Think it through but dare to make it your own, don't stop short. That's what we're celebrating.  I still marvel at the birth of America here some 235 ago (is that right?). It wasn't perfect, it wasn't without conflict, it wasn't without mistakes, but a group of men did their level best to make it happen. Their visions differed in some ways but it happened and here we are.  They wanted freedom to chart their course. I do too. I thank God for America, I really do. I have no idea how long this albeit flawed wonderful nation will survive as it was founded but for now, it is. Fireworks. Let's celebrate. We're still here.

As close as I can give you to fireworks is my adapted spool carrier I made, ahem, my husband and I made, for my sewing room. But a picture's worth a thousand works. Enjoy and see recipe below.

Take a smooth piece of plywood/wood. Figure out how many rods you want and arrange them (regularly or randomly in an artistic pattern ;) Mark each space with a pencil dot. Drill 1/4" holes partway in at slight angle. Cut 1/4" round dowel (smaller would be better: one of my spools just doesn't fit and oak is strongest) in pieces long enough to easily fit a spool. Glue them in. Prime and Paint the whole, frame (or not) to your liking). I recommend using a hanger like so (I didn't have nails short enough so I rigged it this way):

...and also that you affix the tacky putty at the bottom of the frame or wall as seen above. The hanger ensures that the entire affairs hangs flat against the wall and the putty keeps it immovable while you take spools on and off.  All my spools (save the one that is too small) are on this frame and it decorates my laundry room nicely. Even my family likes it!! Laundry room users unite. Happy Independence day!